Unconfirmed SourcesEditorial: Why Karl Rove Is Right
(SATIRE)
White House Chief of Staff Karl Rove, in an address to a Conservative Party of New York fundraiser on June 23rd, said, "Conservatives saw the savagery of 9/11 in the attacks and prepared for war; liberals saw the savagery of the 9/11 attacks and wanted to prepare indictments an offer therapy and understanding of our attackers." This was the right and proper characterization of the aftermath of that terrible day in 2001.
This reporter wholeheartedly supports Mr. Rove. When this country is attacked by a ragtag bunch of criminals and terrorists who used commercial airliners because they couldn't get their hands on real bombs, most of whom came from our allies country of Saudi Arabia, the perfect response was to invade and occupy Iraq, especially using completely spurious justifications for war. Why? To keep our enemies guessing. And the longer the mastermind of those attacks remains free, the more stressed out he becomes.
Think about it. Osama bin Laden must be afflicted with the worst case of ulcers on the planet wondering when, if ever, the massive power of the United States military under the command of George W. Bush may inadvertently stumble over him while driving through one of the thousands of opium poppy fields owned by our warlord allies in Afghanistan. President Bush has Osama right where he wants him...somewhere...out there...worrying.
As for denigrating liberals, Mr. Rove is spot on. The fact that nearly every Democratic Senator and Congressman supported the invasion of Afghanistan means nothing. The fact that they worried about invading Iraq for no reason is what's deeply troubling. What could these people have possibly been thinking?
In war, as every military strategist knows, the stupidest thing you can do is try to understand the motivations of your enemy. Sure, insight in you're opponents motivations might help you conquer him, but what fun is that? Quick victory can be economically devastating to some of our most important corporations. What if, just follow me now, what if the Iraqi's did actually welcome us with open arms, as Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld assured the Senate before the war? No continuing insurgency, which means no blown up Humvees, tanker trucks, helicopters or pipelines. That means no billions of dollars spent to replace them. Very bad for business.
Now however, with Iraq in a shambles, buildings and people being blown up every day, nearly two thousand American soldiers dead and ten thousand permanently maimed, things are going great. Halliburton's bottom line is increasing almost exponentially, coffin and prosthesis manufacturers are raking it in, millions of bullets and rockets are being sold and the best part is the good times are looking like they'll go on forever. If those idiot Liberals had their way, we might have proceeded cautiously and intelligently and the three hundred billion dollars or so that we've spent so far would still be in the pockets of average Americans doing nothing. Yeah, we would still have one thousand seven hundred brave American men and women still alive, the type of people who make this country great, but of course that means that the seventeen hundred people who've taken the stateside jobs of the dead would still be looking for work and being a drag on our economy. It's much better this way, as Mr. Rove rightly points out.
Anyone who disagrees with Karl Rove and his spokesman President Bush should spend a little time in Guantanamo Bay, and this reporter for one hopes that all the horror stories about that place are true. Liberal scum should be beaten and humiliated just as the terrorist prisoners are.
